Whether in the early stages of your couple relationship, or more long-term, couples usually come to therapy when they feel stuck. Not just in one issue, but in something that keeps repeating. The same conversations, the same reactions, the same sense that nothing really changes, even when both of you want it to. Underneath this, there is often a pattern that neither of you can fully see while you are inside it.

Where Couples Often Find Themselves

Most couples arrive at a point where they feel caught in something they cannot shift on their own. This might include ongoing conflict, disconnection, or a growing sense of distance. It can also involve more specific or complex difficulties such as betrayal of trust, infidelity, secrecy or lies, challenges in parenting or blended families, financial imbalance, or patterns of dominance and passivity within the relationship.

Some couples struggle with boundary setting, differences in personality or emotional style, or the impact of neurodiversity within the relationship. Others may be navigating issues around sex, sexual desire, or sexuality, including differences in needs or expectations. For some, this includes exploring open relationships or polyamory.

In other cases, there may be more deeply embedded relational patterns or personality structures that shape how each person experiences and responds to the other.

Often, both people have a clear view of what the other is doing wrong, but less clarity about what is happening between them.
The difficulty is not just the problem itself, but the pattern that keeps it going.

How I Will Work With You

My role is to help you step back and understand what is actually happening between you.
Not just what you think is happening, but how each of you is contributing to the dynamic you are both caught in. This includes exploring what each of you believes is causing the problem, how you experience each other, and what would need to change for things to feel different.

I take an active role in this process. I will guide the conversation with focused questions, and where needed, I will offer clear observations about what I believe is going on. At times, I will describe the underlying structure of your difficulty, so that we are not just talking about surface issues but working with the pattern itself.

I have experience working with a wide range of relationship difficulties, and we can work with whatever you bring into the room.

I do not collude with avoidance, and I do not let things remain vague. I may allow you to show me how things play out between you, even when it is difficult to watch, because seeing the pattern clearly is part of the work. But I will also step in when you find yourselves repeating the same cycle that leads nowhere.
Where appropriate, I will challenge both of you. Not to take sides, but to support a more balanced and grounded understanding of what is happening.

What Begins to Shift

As the work progresses, couples often begin to see each other and themselves differently.
Communication can become more open, reactions may soften, and there is often more capacity to listen, understand, and negotiate needs more effectively.
A key part of this is recognising your own part in the dynamic, while also developing a clearer understanding of your partner’s experience.

When Therapy Is Most Effective

Couples therapy works best when both people are open to change and willing to engage in the process.
Simply attending sessions is not enough on its own. The work involves reflection, taking responsibility where needed, and being prepared to try something different.
Some couples come in crisis, unsure what to do next. Therapy can help stabilise things in the short term, but there is often further work needed to repair and renegotiate the relationship.

Couples who feel unable to move beyond passivity may find this process more challenging. In these situations, individual therapy can sometimes be a more appropriate starting point, where things can be explored at a pace that feels manageable.

When the Work Leads to Separation

For some couples, the process leads to a decision to separate.
This is not a failure of therapy, but can be an important and constructive outcome of the work.

In these situations, therapy can provide a structured and supported way of navigating the end of the relationship. This may involve working through unresolved issues, making sense of what has happened, and finding a way to move forward with greater clarity.

Some couples come into therapy already considering separation but feel unsure where to begin. Others want support to ensure they have explored every possibility before making that decision.
Where separation does happen, the work can help create the conditions for a more thoughtful and respectful transition. This is particularly important where there is an ongoing connection, such as co-parenting, shared responsibilities, or a wish to remain on good terms.

Taking the Next Step

If you are finding yourselves stuck, or unsure how to move forward, couples therapy can offer a space to begin understanding what is happening and what might be possible.

The first step is to attend a 50-minute consultation session together. This gives us an opportunity to begin understanding your situation and how you experience the difficulties between you.

Following this, I will meet with each of you individually for one session. These sessions allow space to explore your perspective in more detail and help build a fuller picture of the relationship. We will then come back together for your first ongoing couples session.

At the beginning of the process, we will complete and agree a therapeutic agreement. This outlines how confidentiality will be managed, how sessions will be structured, and what is expected from the work. It provides a clear framework for the therapy and helps establish a shared understanding of how we will work together.

You are welcome to get in touch to arrange an initial consultation or to ask any questions before starting.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How long does couples therapy last?

This varies for each couple and will be discussed in your first session. As a minimum, you can expect the process to include around 9 sessions. This includes the initial consultation, one individual session each, and a series of couples sessions.

Many couples choose to continue beyond this, either by agreeing a set number of sessions or working in a more open-ended way. This allows for more in-depth exploration and longer-term change.

2. How often do we attend sessions?

You will need to commit to either weekly or fortnightly sessions as a minimum. Regular attendance helps maintain continuity and allows the work to build over time. Longer gaps between sessions can make it more difficult to stay connected to the process.

In some circumstances, it may be helpful to meet more than once per week, particularly where there is a high level of intensity within the relationship and this is something you both feel would be beneficial.

3. Can we have couples therapy and individual therapy with you at the same time?

No. However, you are welcome to work with another therapist individually while attending couples therapy with me.

4. When couples therapy ends, can we continue in individual therapy with you?

Yes, but only one member of the couple can continue in individual therapy with me. In these circumstances, we would not be able to return to couples therapy together, as a bias towards the individual is likely to have developed over time.

5. Do you keep notes of our sessions?

Yes, I keep brief notes for each session and further details about how information is stored and managed can be found in my privacy policy. (add link)

6. If we decide not to complete the agreed number of sessions, will we still be charged?

No. You are only charged for the sessions you have attended, and
for any sessions not cancelled within 24 hours the start time of the session, in line with the session cancellation policy.

If you choose to end therapy earlier than expected, it is recommended you attending a final session to bring the work to a considered close.

7. Do you offer reduced rates for sessions?

I do not offer reduced-rate sessions.

8. Are individual sessions charged at a different rate during couples therapy?

No. All sessions that take place as part of couples therapy, including any individual sessions, are charged at the same rate.